there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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