please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
