Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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