i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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