Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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