Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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