how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
