I swear she didn't look like that last week.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
