new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
