Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
