he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
