I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
