I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
