after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
