Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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