God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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