that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
