There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
