I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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