that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
