So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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