so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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