I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
