I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
