At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
