I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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