32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
