At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
