i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
