Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
