yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
