I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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