My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
