he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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