In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
