im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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