Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
