You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
