never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
