just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
pray to the hookup gods
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
