its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
