So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
