Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize