I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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