just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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