i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
