508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
