Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
