I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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