ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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