is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
