You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
