2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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