I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
