I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You made out with two different species that night
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
