what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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