What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize