Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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