hell yes lets make some ravioli
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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