I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize