I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
