That's when you crack a 10am beer
Girls should come with a carfax report
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
