out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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