if you like me you must not know who I am
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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