He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
