i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
