He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
