Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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